Posts Tagged Okie Down Under


Moore Tornado — How It Felt A Year Ago To Be An Okie Down Under (Republished)

The longer you live overseas, the less you feel tethered to the American mothership. This month, I’ve been overseas for 20 years, and I’ve missed so much. To put this into perspective… I was in New Zealand, half a world away from America, when: — The Murrah Building was bombed — Gulf War II was […]

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Venus & Mars and the Horking War

It is a very good thing that the Singaporean Missus and her sisters and brother will soon gather in Singapore, to bond, eat and walk around saying “soooooooo cheap”. Because otherwise, the Venus & Mars border clashes back in New Zealand would almost certainly escalate into a nuclear conflict. We mention this because we were […]

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The Hog Tao of Super Bowl

*Lao Tzu, an older contemporary of Confucius, was keeper of the imperial archives in the province of Honan in the sixth century B.C. All his life he taught that “The Tao that can be told is not the eternal Tao”, which makes you wonder what exactly the guy was being paid for. Anyways, according to […]

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10 Okie Sentences You Will Never Hear in New Zealand

A couple of Facebook comments this week made me homesick, and prompted this list of 10 Okie sentences you will NEVER hear in New Zealand. 1. You got ‘lectric at your house? 2. Hose him down and he’ll clean up all right. 3. There’s a reason Santa doesn’t come round during deer season. 4. I’ll […]

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The Day the Super-Cute Crack Puppies Turned Into Werewolf-Lion-Zombie Duck-Eaters

I swear I thought the Missus had said the doglettes did not mind the duck family that she had adopted, which have eaten my bread and shat on my driveway with abandon for a week. Wouldn’t it be cute, I thought, to get the doglettes to walk near the ducks so I could take a […]

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Thanksgiving Thoughts From Down Under

    I’ve been thinking about the Okie Thanksgivings of my youth in the 1960’s. And Dying Down Here in New Zealand, where it is just not the same, turkey notwithstanding. I really miss the “Turkeydays” of my youth, when you pulled the drapes shut tight to keep the bright sunlight out as you camped […]

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Scattershooting About Mason Jars, Eyebrow Threading and Chinese Weddings

Scattershooting while wondering about iced tea, Chinese weddings and why women pay strangers to rip hairs from various lady parts. I do not recall any guy ever asking for them to do it. Perhaps this pay-for-hair-ripping thing is related to the requirement that lady lawyers painfully clomp around downtown carrying fat briefcases while balancing on […]

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