Posts Tagged humor


Questions That Haunt Me

  Are you supposed to send checks to people who retweet your Twitter tweets and ponies to the people who give you Facebook likes, or vice versa? I need to know soon, because the ponies out back are getting really loud. How can we have a SHRED of respect for so-called “Millenials” when they, overwhelming, […]

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Do You HEAR Me Dripping Adrenaline?

It’s late. I’m relaxing in the recliner. Reading. Sort of. Zzzzzzzz. Hearing aids are out. Because I do not want to be disturbed. Happy sigh. But then I hear something disturbing.

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Toad Strangler Oklahoma Rain

I’ve lived in Singapore, and I don’t think monsoon rains come down as hard, or as sideways, as what poured down on me as a kid growing up on Nebraska Street. When the skies opened up in Oklahoma, man, that was something to behold. I remember water gushing out of the downspout so hard that it […]

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The Morning After The Night Before

When I was young, the headline above referred to waking up with a monstrous hangover. Today, it refers to being back in the world after a weekend of immersion in a spiritual retreat called the Eucharistic Convention. I feel sort of like a sponge whose every pore had been filled with water, and then squeezed […]

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Ear Goop and Humpy Crack Puppies

  The duty has fallen to me to put medical ear goop into the Crack Puppy’s left ear. This is necessary because she is a Maltese/Shih-Tzu cross. And “Shih-Tzu”, in English, means “making your vet a millionaire”. So in addition to giving her 3/4 of a phenobarbitone tablet morning and night, wrapped in cheese, for […]

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Elmo and Cookie Monster in NZ; Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle in Houston; Which Was the Deadliest?

  My life passed before my eyes last week. I look around and all of a sudden realized that my normally laid-back New Zealand mall was jammed with people. Specifically, jammed with Moms, and Dads, and Grandmas, and LOTS of wide-eyed kids. Plus at least 10,000 strollers. As a highly trained observer, I quickly scanned the scene […]

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Stupid, Evil Goat Heads and Sticker Wars

  Somebody posted a photo recently of a goat head, the evil nemesis of my youth. I cannot hardly express how much I hated those things. If you grew up in Norman, Oklahoma, you didn’t wear shoes during the summer. Every now and again, you’d step on those suckers. They’d stab you right in your […]

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