Posts Tagged humor


Toad Strangler Oklahoma Rain

I’ve lived in Singapore, and I don’t think monsoon rains come down as hard, or as sideways, as what poured down on me as a kid growing up on Nebraska Street. When the skies opened up in Oklahoma, man, that was something to behold. I remember water gushing out of the downspout so hard that it […]

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The Morning After The Night Before

When I was young, the headline above referred to waking up with a monstrous hangover. Today, it refers to being back in the world after a weekend of immersion in a spiritual retreat called the Eucharistic Convention. I feel sort of like a sponge whose every pore had been filled with water, and then squeezed […]

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Ear Goop and Humpy Crack Puppies

  The duty has fallen to me to put medical ear goop into the Crack Puppy’s left ear. This is necessary because she is a Maltese/Shih-Tzu cross. And “Shih-Tzu”, in English, means “American Express Platinum cards accepted here.” So in addition to giving her 3/4 of a phenobarbitone tablet morning and night, wrapped in cheese, […]

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Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Chaos in Houston

  Back in the early Nineties, I was with a Houston P.R. firm charged with  generating publicity about their latest master-planned community. My boss decided to bring in a real-live Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle  to the grand opening of the new community center. At that time, hiring a real Ninja Turtle was only slightly harder […]

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Stupid, Evil Goat Heads and Sticker Wars

  I cannot tell you how much I hated goat heads. If you grew up in Norman, Oklahoma, you didn’t wear shoes during the summer. Every now and again, you’d step on those suckers. They’d stab you right in your heal, and bury the “horns” to the hilt. When you tried to rip them out, […]

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Dez Bryant Should Have Grown Up on Nebraska Street

I still think Dez caught that ball in Green Bay. And it was a great catch. But, to be honest, we made better catches on Nebraska Street when I was growing up in Norman. Dez only had to deal with one short defensive back. We had to deal with cars, trucks, concrete curbs, darkness, and […]

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The Big Lady With Purple Hair

Yesterday, I was shopping in our version of Walmart when I saw her. The first thing I noticed was her short, purple hair. Then the “circus tent” dress, her 350-pound bulk, and the painfully swollen feet that were somehow stuffed into brightly colored Crocs. I thought to myself, “I bet Mom would have loved this lady.”

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