. You never pull anything out of your pocket without Panadol falling out You try to use the same *cup all day so that you don’t have to reach up into the cabinet and feel that hot-10-penny-nail-jabbing-into-your-shoulder-socket feeling You become the ultimate Christian hypocrite when you start wildly boogeying to the Stones, but then you […]
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“My leg, my leg!” Poor Meadowlark Lemon would hold his leg and wail in agony. So loud that everybody in the huge basketball arena could hear him. And, somehow, as his teammates helped him limp around the court, in comedic agony, the magic would happen. The Globies would introduce the basketball that would not bounce. […]
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We are sitting here wearing our NHS 30th Anniversary t-shirt and our once-were-nice-until-we-got-yard-chemicals-on-them camo shorts, while drinking a $9 bottle of Heineken. This means that: we have totally down-tooled for Christmas; we are as per always waiting for the Missus at the mall; and we’re getting gouged by this flashy new restaurant. We have two […]
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Pretty much for the last month, I’d say 99% of my discussions with the Missus have been duck related. Most of the conversations begin with her walking into the living room and saying, “They are just so INTERESTING”. At which point I might as well turn off the TV or close my book because, for up to […]
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This blog has mentioned before that men are creatures of action. Sure, we spend 99% of the time in our recliners. But that other 1%? When we are in the yard and armed with cutting devices? We are creatures of action. And once we get a head of steam? There is no stopping us. We will cut and […]
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The Missus was going to name her boy ducks Donald and Daffy, until I explained that high-priced Disney lawyers would cover her with so many writs she’d never be able to feed her ducks again. Hence she named them Dicky and Dashing Duck. Dicky’s wife’s is Dancy. This is because the Blog’s Missus likes alliteration, […]
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Get Mad at that Damn Deck!
I just realized that I paint the front deck like Russell Westbrook goes to the rim. Russ hates that damn rim. And I hate that damn deck. Russ and I have the very same DNA of RAGE. And when we tap into it, Missy, you best get out of the way.
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