Posts Tagged CNN


Post Irene Panic Vacuum

A post-Irene panic vacuum has plagued America in the minutes following the demise of the latest killer horror hurricane from hell. “There is a huge post-Irene Panic Vacuum. It’s ominously huge and threatening,” according to the Administration’s Joe Putz (nephew of VP Joe Biden). “We were certain that Irene would destroy the earth and possibly […]

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NFL NEWS FLASH — Brett Favre to Start Super Bowl!

Feb. 4, 2011 – FLASH SUPER BOWL NEWS UPDATE – PREVIOUSLY DEAD NFL GREAT BRETT FAVRE WILL START AT QUARTERBACK FOR BOTH SUPER BOWL TEAMS AND PLAY DRUMS FOR THE BLACK EYED PEAS DURING HALFTIME! DEVELOPING. (Previously filed story, January 5, 2011, New York) — The NFL has announced that Brett Favre will start EVERY […]

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Death, death, everywhere! Details Live at 6

A mass, unexplained, horrific epidemic of death has hit the world, sending officials and news crews scrambling for answers. First, thousands of blackbirds rained down from the skies above Beebe, Arkansas. Then hundreds of blackbirds were found dead in Pointe Coupee Parish: “some of which were lying face down, clumped in groups, while others were […]

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Live Chilean Mine Rescue Updates

(Read from bottom to top) Days later NPR fires 3 reporters who covered the Chilean mine rescue and called the miners “Chileans”. “We know racism when we see it,” said NPR’s PhD CEO III (D-NY). 3.46 a.m. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz 3.45 a.m. BBC interrupts their LIVE CHILEAN RESCUE coverage to show a 3-hour-long Richard Attenborough doco on […]

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Privacy? Facebook can see your Johnson!

All the worry and gnashing of teeth about Facebook and privacy issues is completely overblown, the company’s CEO explains in this interview conducted today over Facebook. CNN: Mr. Zuckerberg, exactly what have you been secretly doing to invade our privacy? Facebook CEO: People love Facebook. That’s why 11 billion people ‘Facebook’ every day. We are […]

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