Stiletto Law


Clomp. Clomp. Clomp.

Here they come — herds of lady lawyers.

Clomping down Auckland’s sidewalk, louder than Clydesdales.

Angry and in a hurry.

Struggling uphill and downhill.

Lugging fat briefcases and ring binders.

All while precariously balanced on designer stilettos.

Now, even before I blew out an ankle in high school, I could never have done that.

Clomping around, carrying 20 or 30 pounds of stuff, while balancing on stilettos?

Nope, I could not have done it. (Not that I was so inclined, to wear stilettos, mind you.)

The laws of physics did then, and do now, prove that walking for more than three steps in stilettos is impossible.

Especially in the bumpy Auckland CBD.

Which raises the obvious question: how do all these lady lawyers do it?

More importantly, why do intelligent, highly skilled lady lawyers wear these expensive, uncomfortable, designer shoes to work?

I mean, even on a good day, working in law is a bastard, right?

High stress. Backstabbing associates. Greedy partners. Unreasonable clients. Unforgiving judges.

So why, on top of all that, in this era of equal rights, do hundreds of lawyerly ladies get all stiletto’d up for work?

I just don’t think that anyone in her right mind would walk to work, right through downtown, wearing stilettos.

Unless they charge $500 an hour for services that may involve lawyers but are not “technically” practicing law.

Briefcase-carrying, pinstripe-wearing lady lawyers just do not need to wear stilettos.

Especially in court.

I mean, you never saw Perry Mason or Denny Crane in stilettos.  And it didn’t damage their legal careers, did it?

Anyway, this whole thing was really bothering me.

So I plucked up my courage to ask an expert, a twenty-something lady lawyer clomping her way to the top.

I chose her because  a) she is the daughter of a friend of mine and b) he will cut her out of the Will if she plants a Stiletto in my forehead.

Her honest answer shocked me, and I quote:

“We wear them because they look good. We like how our legs look in them. We don’t care what men think.

“And we don’t care if they cripple us. Haha.”

So there you have it.

No wonder the legal system is in the shape it’s in.





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