Scattershooting About ‘Weinergate’

Scattershooting about why grown men do such things.

Top 10 Weinergate thoughts:

1. I am eternally grateful that Richard M. Nixon was NOT involved in Weinergate.

2. If JFK had had an iPhone, Weinergate would have happened about 10 minutes after he was elected.

3. It’s an absolute tragedy that Weinergate technology did not exist in the Clinton years.

4. Can you imagine what *Bill Clinton would have got up to with an iPhone in the Oval Office? With Monica? Boris? Algore.
Hillary: “Bill, why did we get a $900,000 charge for your texts?”

5. If you are a headline writer, Weinergate has to be better than Christmas. But how many draft headlines do you have to write before getting to one you can actually publish?

6. Same political song, different singer. From “I did not have sex with that woman!” to “That is not my wiener… I am almost certain.”

7. This blog is 100% certain that Weinergate does not involve perpetual All-Pro QB **Brett “I’ll decide about retiring after I send this text” Favre.

8. We are not so sure about ***LeBron.

9. You just know that somewhere in Anthony Weiner’s high school yearbook he was named “most likely to send a photo of his wiener over the phone some day.”

10. And you also know the Congressman’s crack PR team is on the front foot:

“We can spin this to our advantage, Congressman Weiner. Listen to this:

Oh I wish I were a Congressional Wei – ner (D-N.Y.)
That is what I’d tru-ly like to be
’cause if I were a Congressional Wei – ner
Ev-ery one would text their votes for me.

Catchy, don’t you think?”


* I did NOT have sex with that iPhone
** Battery has gone flat
*** We know he is a total wiener, but we withhold judgement on his involvement in Weinergate. Go Mavs! Boo Miami Weiners.)


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4 Responses to “Scattershooting About ‘Weinergate’”

  1. Jenni Chiu says:

    It’s so true. Same political song- different singer. This debacle is just a little more fun to say. 🙂

    • hams says:

      I know. Weinergate. Weinergate. Weinergate. We’re totally adult about this important piece of news.

  2. Kris says:

    Ok, the other night when I said this was funny, I was tipsy.

    Back sober.


    Still funny.

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