Old Dead Guys – Blondes Luv ‘ Em

What is it with Old Dead Guys (ODG)?

Blondes just luv em. Look at CNN’s Larry King (yeah, he’s not technically dead, but still…).

ODG Larry, a real looker, has been married about 900 times, and is about to get divorced again. On a good day, the 76-year-old looks like a dead prune in suspenders. But blondes think he’s suave – after all, he thinks Sarah Palin should pose nude for Playboy; and he’s classy – he reportedly had an affair with the 45-year-old sister of his most recent 50-year-old wife.

Clearly ODG Larry is a scholar and a gentleman. But his manliness pales in comparison to ODG J. Howard Marshall II: occupation – dead oilman.

J. Howard married the one and only Anna Nicole Smith, Playmate of the Year 1993. They were immediately attracted to each other’s, uhm, “assets”, and the lovebirds were married three year’s later. The ODG officially died in 1995, and forensic tests apparently showed his blood was almost 99% Polygrip and Viagra. They couldn’t wipe the smile off his ODG face or shut the coffin lid.

But the creepiest ODG by miles has to be Hugh Hefner, who puts any TV vampire to shame. Hef’s almost 300 years old. He’s probably had sex with 10,000 women and most species of wildlife. Yet legions of blonde bombshells line up to bed his Hefness.

So what exactly attracts the bimbettes to ODGs? Suspenders? Toothlessness? Silk pyjamas?

Or is it that mothering nature of some blondes that makes them want to heal wounded men’s souls, nourish their battered bodies, and be first in line when the ODG actually karks it and they can help tidy up the mess?

Old Dead Guys – Blondes just luv ’em.

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