Get Mad at that Damn Deck!

Westbrook angry

I just realized that I paint the front deck like Russell Westbrook goes to the rim.

Russ hates that damn rim.

And I hate that damn deck.

Russ and I have the very same DNA of RAGE.

And when we tap into it, Missy, you best get out of the way.

I finished the first coat on my 10-metre-by-4-metre front deck this morning in approximately 97 minutes.

Call it an even 98 minutes when you factor in prep-time.

I am aware that some people like to prepare for major DIY projects.

They are gurly people.

They go to the hardware store and talk to “experts”.


They buy proper “equipment” and “paint” and read about how to “use” them in an environmentally friendly way.

They plan their project like it is the freeking invasion of Normandy.

These people are my Singaporean wife.

And never, not in a million years, could they begin to understand Russ and me.

Or our anger.

And our need to do something RIGHT DAMN NOW.

Game Prep

I’m pretty sure Russ’ preparation for every game consists of:

Putting on his uniform, going to a very dark place deep in his mind, and envisioning the total annihilation of the enemy, er, opponent.

On a good Paint Day, my “preparation” might include hosing down the deck.Maybe even scraping it and applying an undercoast.


Okay, seriously… Today’s preparation consisted of:

paint chart

  • taking two ibuprofen and applying the Chinese plasters to my soon-to-be-aching neck
  • putting on my Game Day camo pants, NHS Tiger 40th Reunion T-shirt, and ancient OU cap
  • and then …



When the lid comes off the paint bucket, it’s time to get angry. And go to the damn rim deck. Like Russ.


That means attacking the front steps first thing so there is no going back.

You are constantly moving, doing pick-and-rolls against the bigger plants, in the paint, before hustling back on defense.

Always, with this face:

Paint slide

As long at the clock has one second on it, Russ and I hate that damn deck.

But after the game, it’s time for a beer.

On the newly painted deck.

paint deck



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