Do You HEAR Me Dripping Adrenaline?

Tasmanian Devil

It’s late.

I’m relaxing in the recliner.

Reading. Sort of. Zzzzzzzz.

Hearing aids are out.

Because I do not want to be disturbed.

Happy sigh.

But then I hear something disturbing.

Well, not so much hear something is wrong.

My spider senses are tingling.

I decide to investigate, so I put in a hearing aid.

I hear an AWFUL ANIMAL SOUND coming from the kitchen.

I literally LAUNCH out of the recliner.

In the three giant steps it takes me to reach the kitchen, I have determined that:

a) the Missus has fallen badly and is crying out in pain; or

b) there is a werewolf in the kitchen devouring my wife.

My glands have pumped enough adrenaline and testosterone into my system to fight three wars.

I hit the kitchen at full speed, sliding around the corner in my sock-feet.

My right arm is cocked, my fist is tight, and I am read to fire.

Then I see the Missus.

She is sitting at the kitchen table, happy as a child on Christmas morning.

She is playing with her new Super Animal cards, and filing them neatly into the Activity and Collector’s Album.

This is a marketing scam effort by the evil one our grocery store chain.

There are 108 cards and two albums to be collected.

The Missus paid $8 for a little player.

She gets “free” Super Animal cards with every purchase.

The cards have pictures and facts about animals.

Every animal God ever created.

Or even thought about.

We’ve probably got about $9,000 invested so far (in unneeded groceries which you buy to get the cards).

Plus, as a safeguard, we have three players.

Because if we ever have grandchildren, they will need this complete set or cards.

And back-up players.

Super ANimals

 

Like all grocery store promotions, these players are engineered to last approximately until you get home.

The first player broke in about 10 minutes.

But the replacements work very well, indeed.

So if, for example, the Missus were to put her Tasmanian Devil card into the surprisingly loud player, while her husband was half-asleep in his recliner, without his hearing aids…

Well, it would just be a whole lot of fun for everybody involved.

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Click HERE for another lovely hearing aid adventure.

 

 




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