10 reasons why World Cup "Football" will NEVER make it big in America

1) Soccer has finally “come out” and confirmed it is a gay sport.

2) Americans don’t give up. France became the first team in World Cup history to surrender.

3) Americans like collision sports (football) and even contact sports (basketball) but not “beautiful” sports.

4) Miley Cyrus would be a soccer WAG, if she had at least one pair of knickers.

5) “Major” world countries like “Cameroon” are among the best in the soccer world. (Note: at least one World Cup team, Paraguay, would be attractive to red blooded Americans.)

6) No soccer player looks like he will eat your children.

7) Americans believe in celebrating a SCORE but within reason.

8) The Rugby World Cup is held every four years in some stupid, foreign country.

9) How can you scream at the ump if 100,000 vuvuzelas are going BWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA?

10) This is soccer fan food. THIS is the American football, basketball, baseball and hockey fan food.

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