10 evil wishes for the internet repairman

Not that I am unhappy with the internet man… Oh no. I’ve enjoyed being handcuffed at home for 1 1/2 days, waiting… for him… to fix my internet connection… actually refix it… because he ‘fixed it’ last night… or not so much.

So I hereby offer 10 heartfelt wishes for my internet company.

1) I wish they would get life in the electric chair.

2) I wish they would be told the technician will turn off their electric chair sometime before 7pm, so they shouldn’t go anywhere.

3) I wish their management ongoing success as they continue to also manage the French World Cup soccer team.

4) I wish that their virginal 14-year-old daughters go on the road with best friend Miley Cyrus…

5) I wish that they personally lose the next iPhone prototype and get to experience Steve Jobs eating their liver.

6) I wish them to be force-fed nuclear hot Indian currie and gallons of peppermint Schnaps and Milk of Magnesia.

7) I wish that Jack Bauer believes they killed his girlfriend. DAMMIT.

8) I wish that BP be responsible for their swimming pool.

9) I wish that at every future dinner party, they sit with VP Joe Biden, Ozzy Osbourne and the people who make infomercials.

10)And I wish that readers would leave their personal wishes for their internet provider in comments below…

Leave a Reply