The Eccentric Titirangi Chicken Woman

 

I love eccentric people, especially if they have chickens.

And don’t live next door.

Hence, I love going to the physiotherapist, to have my head rotated and get an update on the Titirangi Chicken Situation.

(Yes, I shot that seven-second video last year!)

It seems that the Council — after six months of meetings and complaints and strategies and tactics and skulduggery and general Titirangi weirdness — finally hauled away approximately 28 chickens.

Now, before all you pinko-lefty-chicken-pluckers get all moisty-eyed about the poor, dear chickens, you need to understand that:

a) chickens poop

b) A LOT

c) Titirangi Village includes our post office

d) lots of kids use the Titirangi bus stop

e) Titirangi roosters never shut up

f) NOT EVER!

g) And occasionally they go all jihad on the schoolkids.

 

Terrorist Rooster

Terrorist Titirangi Rooster

So, even though I personally love having chickens in our semi-rural village (in wayyyy West Auckland).,,

And listening to VERY LOUD roosters, while my physiotherapist works on my neck…

I understand why said physiotherapist, other nearby business owners, and many angry mothers do not love the chickens.

Not even a little bit.

Which is why complaints were made.

About the poop.

And the relentless crowing.

And the occasional rooster jihad.

SO SOMETHING HAD TO BE DONE!

And yet, the Council had a fowl problem.

Turns out, nobody ACTUALLY owns the roosters or chickens or chicks.

So the Council could not fine or threaten to imprison anyone about all the feather dusters.

Turns out, some eccentric Titirangi lady — and we have hundreds out West — feeds the “wild” chooks every morning, right in the Village. Then they sort of hang out, as chickens do, for the rest of the day.

Looking at you with that “chicken look”.

The “chicken look”

 

Crossing the road because, why do they do that again?

 

rooster crossing road

Rooster: “Shut up. I am getting to the other side.”

 

And waiting for the Eccentric Chicken Lady to come back in the evening to feed them again.

Sadly, this is not our Eccentric Chicken Lady

As mentioned above, the Council did recently, despite months of squawking and legal loopholes, remove more than two dozen illegal chickens.

So this morning, I only saw or heard about a dozen, which sort of made me sad. Honestly.

But don’t get me wrong.

Despite my fondness for chickens way over there in Titirangi Village, I dread the day when the Missus’ has saved enough money to finish the Fence That Never Ends and our back yard jungle is contained.

On that day, the Missus will *DEMAND to have chickens, clucking louder than the 10 million times she has crowed about this over the decades.

And then it will happen. There will be chickens. In my back yard.

I had hoped to be dead by then.

Before the mutant species of Titirangi chicken-ducks take over, but they are upon us…

chicken ducks

Chucks? Dickens? WTF?

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* The Missus is relentless when it comes to fences and chickens.

Click HERE for our blog: “Chickens Are Inevitable”

Click HERE for the Titirangi Chicken Facebook Page (we are not kidding).

 




4 Responses to “The Eccentric Titirangi Chicken Woman”

  1. Cassie Shires says:

    Confessions of a sometime eccentric chicken woman.

    While I’ve lived most of my life like a gypsy, there was a chicken period from 1992-2005. The longest time I have ever called any one place home. The chickens are second only to the pecan trees on the list of things I miss about being The Pecan Lady of Quapaw Valley Orchards.

    That’s Eccentric Chicken Lady, BTW

    With relish,

    Cassie

    • hams says:

      Looking at you, I would never see an eccentric Quapaw Lady of Nuts. But, in just the right light, there is that crazy gleam in your eyes…

  2. Lillian L.. says:

    If you think chickens poop–a lot–and are messy, you haven’t lived with ducks. They are fowl beasties!

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