Posts Tagged hogs ate my sister


Valentine’s Day: Nothing says ‘I love you’ like pink weapons

If that old romantic Rooster Cogburn were here, he’d look you right in the eyes, er, eye, and say: “Nothing says I love you like non-lethal self defense.” Thankfully, you don’t need to spend hours at the mall to find the perfect weapon for that special someone, when everything she’ll ever want to shock, blind […]

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Scattershooting while thinking about Jerruh Bowl XLV

I’m jet-lagged after spending at least 900 hours watching the Super Bowl yesterday. When I first moved to New Zealand in 1993, I remember taking a wee nap at the start of an All Blacks’ rugby match. Yes, that’s a capital offense in NZ, but I was new. Anyway, when I woke up, the game […]

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I are a dog-training idjit. You?

Stupid owner = stupid dog. I have the scars to prove it. I think I was four when the neighbor’s collie dog put its crocodile-like mouth completely around my little body and chomped. I’d gotten a cowboy outfit for Christmas, including red boots and a rope. I wanted Duchess to walk around like a cow […]

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Dipping Your Non-Carbonated Popo

It has been brought to our attention that far too many posts of late have involved male dangly bits. This is not entirely our fault, as previous news reports have involved all universe (and very old) quarterback Brett Favre, whose man bits have constantly been in the news. And, sadly, we don’t mean that figuratively. […]

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Writer’s Block – 10 ways to beat it!

Considering that everyone in the universe is now self-published on the interwebz, an epidemic of writer’s block might be a good thing. But nevertheless, here are 10 sure-fire ways to explode writer’s block, get way rich, and win at least nine Pulitzer prizes by noon. 1. Sit calmly. Think of peaceful things. Lakes, rivers, mountains. […]

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NFL NEWS FLASH — Brett Favre to Start Super Bowl!

Feb. 4, 2011 – FLASH SUPER BOWL NEWS UPDATE – PREVIOUSLY DEAD NFL GREAT BRETT FAVRE WILL START AT QUARTERBACK FOR BOTH SUPER BOWL TEAMS AND PLAY DRUMS FOR THE BLACK EYED PEAS DURING HALFTIME! DEVELOPING. (Previously filed story, January 5, 2011, New York) — The NFL has announced that Brett Favre will start EVERY […]

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5 foods to never eat or risk becoming a Walmart pinup

The advertisement frequently at the top of this blog (the one that pays me if you click, yes that one) seems to have changed. Gone is Secret Exercises for a Flat Tummy. Replaced by 5 Foods You Should Never Eat … if you want to cut down on stomach fat. But since I am not […]

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